Those navigating family law disputes sometimes come into the divorce process with the idea that settling means surrendering—that if they don’t fight tooth and nail for every inch, they’re giving up something vital. That mindset is often misguided and always expensive. Settlement is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you understand the battlefield and are choosing the most efficient, controlled way through it. As lawyers, we prepare for trial, but we’re always looking for the more strategic resolution—not the loudest or most contentious one.
There’s strength in knowing which issues matter and which are distractions. Maybe it’s the parenting schedule, maybe it’s the house, maybe it’s protecting future income or a family business—but rarely is it everything. Litigating over who keeps the couch or an extra vacation day often costs more than it’s worth, both financially and emotionally. Strategic settlement lets you conserve resources—money, time, and bandwidth—for the issues that truly shape your post-divorce life.
Another advantage? Experienced counsel can help those navigating family disputes understand what a judge is likely to do based on the facts. That includes the range of expected outcomes, where the unknowns lie, and how the law will be applied. This lets you run the numbers: What’s the best-case scenario worth in terms of value—not just dollars, but peace of mind and future stability? How much do you want to spend chasing it? That cost-benefit analysis is far more productive early in the case, when more options are on the table and fewer dollars have gone to legal fees.
Most judges respect reasonableness. They see hundreds of cases a year and know the difference between someone negotiating in good faith and someone out to punish the other side. The party who looks more flexible often gains credibility in court, which can pay dividends if a judge ultimately has to make the call. Bottom line: You don’t have to be combative to be strong. You just have to know when to push and when to deal. A strategic settlement isn’t rolling over—it’s playing the long game.
Jared B. Pinkus, Partner
For more on Mr. Pinkus, please visit:
https://beermannlaw.com/team/jared-b-pinkus/.
