The Engagement Period: one of the most exciting times a couple will experience. As you plan for your wedding and make important decisions such as color schemes and flowers for the guest tables, don’t forget to also plan your future with your soon to be spouse and discuss important decisions regarding your marriage (slightly less fun than flower arrangements – but undoubtedly more important). Your engagement is a crucial time to have open and honest conversations about what you envision as a framework for a successful (and happy) marriage. Here are five essential talking points, from a Family Law attorney’s perspective:
- Prenuptial Agreements: It is important to discuss the option of entering into a prenuptial agreement and whether it makes sense for your respective goals for your future as a married couple. Prenuptial agreements can address a range of issues from division of assets and debts to spousal support and inheritance rights. Without a prenuptial agreement, you and your fiancée could be unintentionally allowing for other people to make these decisions for you (or to be bound by what the law says) in the event things don’t quite work out.
- Financial Arrangements: Transparency is key. With or without a prenuptial agreement, you should be fully aware of the assets and debts your fiancé is bringing into your marriage. While the laws of each state vary, in Illinois, the presumption is all assets and liabilities acquired after the date of marriage are considered marital property, subject to division upon divorce. This includes the increase in value of property and accumulation of debts during the marriage. While you’re on the topic – do you plan on creating a joint savings account and each contributing a set amount each month or just combining all income into one joint account? Address how you’ll handle joint expenses, budgeting, and long-term financial goals. Having these conversations early will help you avoid potential conflicts in the future.
- Family Planning: If you and your fiancé plan to start a family, discussing your hopes for your future family is crucial. Do you want to have children? Always wanted to adopt? If you do plan on having children – do you have any expectations on how to share parenting responsibilities? Do you want to raise your children in a certain religion? While no one has a crystal ball, clear communication about family planning will help you navigate these significant life changes more smoothly.
- Career Goals and Aspirations: Your career aspirations and goals can significantly impact your marriage. Whether you’re planning to advance in your current field, switch careers, be a stay-at-home parent or pursue further education, it’s important to discuss how these ambitions might affect your relationship. Aligning your professional goals with your partner’s goals can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure you’re both on the same page.
- Conflict Resolution and Communication: Even the healthiest relationships have conflicts. How you navigate these conflicts can strengthen or deteriorate your relationship. Do you have strategies for de-escalating tense situations? Establishing a healthy approach to conflict resolution early on will help maintain a positive and respectful relationship.
Most importantly, enjoy this time with your spouse-to-be. While your engagement is the appropriate time for tough conversations – it is also a special time in your life. If a prenuptial agreement is on your wedding planning ‘to-do’ list – a consultation with an experienced attorney is the best next step.
Nicole C. Edidin, Associate
For more on Ms. Edidin, please visit:
www.beermannlaw.com/team/nicole-c-edidin.
