The appointment of a Guardian ad Litem (“GAL”) can be one of the most anxiety-producing moments in a divorce or parenting case. Many parents assume they are about to be judged, cross-examined, or forced to prove they are the “better” parent. That anxiety often leads well-intentioned people to make avoidable mistakes that can undermine their credibility during the investigation.

After representing clients in parenting disputes for nearly two decades and serving as a Guardian ad Litem in Lake County Courts for approaching ten years, I’ve found that the biggest problems usually aren’t caused by bad parents. They’re caused by good parents who allow anxiety and emotion to dictate how they interact with the GAL. While every case is different, there are several common missteps parents should avoid when communicating with their GAL.

Mistake No. 1: Treating the GAL Like Your Lawyer

A Guardian ad Litem is not your attorney, your therapist, or your personal advocate. The GAL’s job is to conduct an independent investigation and make recommendations to the court regarding the children’s best interests. Although you should be open and forthcoming, remember that the GAL is gathering information—not building your case for you.

Mistake No. 2: Making the Conversation About Your Spouse

One of the quickest ways to lose credibility is to spend your interview cataloging everything the other parent has done wrong. Certainly, if there are legitimate concerns affecting your children’s well-being, they should be discussed. However, parents who focus exclusively on criticizing the other parent often leave the impression that they are more interested in winning the litigation than promoting their children’s best interests.

The GAL is usually far more interested in learning about your relationship with your children, your involvement in their daily lives, and how you intend to foster a healthy relationship between the children and the other parent whenever appropriate.

Mistake No. 3: Presenting in a Disorganized Way

GALs often have busy practices and spend as much time representing adult clients as they do children (their “wards”). The way you present information can be almost as important as the information itself. Bombarding your GAL with a steady stream of emails on scattered, child-related topics rarely helps. More often, it makes it difficult to identify the issues that truly deserve attention.  Instead of placing your concerns in the body of an email, consider preparing a separate document your GAL can refer to as a valuable touchstone throughout his/her investigation. Chronological timelines can be very beneficial because they tell your GAL your parenting “story” in a way that is easy to follow. Highlight, for the GAL’s benefit, issues which require the most significant investigation and the individuals who can provide the most meaningful information.

Mistake No. 4: Forgetting That Your Communications Matter

Your interaction with the GAL extends well beyond the initial interview. Emails, text messages, and other communications should always be respectful, professional, and responsive. Remember that the GAL was appointed by the Court to assist the judge. Communications that are disrespectful, hostile, or inflammatory rarely advance your position and can often undermine your credibility.

Mistake No. 5: Losing Sight of What the GAL Is Really Evaluating

Many parents mistakenly believe it is their job to convince the GAL that the other parent is the problem. In reality, the GAL is typically trying to determine what parenting arrangement serves the children’s best interests—not which parent can deliver the most persuasive criticism.

Parents who demonstrate honesty, maturity, cooperation, and a genuine focus on their children’s needs often make the strongest impression. A willingness to acknowledge imperfections, communicate respectfully, and place the children’s interests ahead of personal conflict generally carries far more weight than hostility or finger-pointing.

There is no script for a successful GAL investigation. But parents who approach the process with honesty, organization, professionalism, and an unwavering focus on their children put themselves in the best position to ensure the GAL—and ultimately the court—receives an accurate picture of their family.

Craig M. Mandell, Partner
For more on Mr. Mandell, please visit: www.beermannlaw.com/team/craig-m-mandell.